Ozzy yelling at the ocean for flooding his campfire.
i dont understand people who only sleep with one pillow
is there a scholarship for trying
the person pretended to be a goat so the goat pretended to be a person
Dreams would be much more fun if they were multi-player servers that other sleeping people could join.
stop for a minute and realize you are a 10lb brain piloting a slab of meat
it’s physically impossible to fit words into a venn diagram
staff at checkout: that’ll be $9.95
me: here’s $10.00
me: keep the change
at the supermarket like
Imagine watching an episode of Catfish and seeing someone use your pictures to catfish someone else
When I was 6 my brother told me that old people sag because they’re being pulled to hell and I cried
when boys have bleu eyes <3
we reblog the clothes we think we deserve